It all begins there. Self. Love. Two words when put together shape your biggest weapon. Me, like many other people, forgot that these two words were the foundation of happiness and freedom. It was right there, within me.
Self love. A lifetime Journey. Something I am working on, everyday. As bulking season and Holidays arrive, I see more and more people freaking out about themselves, their weights, their appearance, their mindset. People getting panic attacks because they think they are not pretty, skinny, smart, alone. I wonder... why are so many peoples not loving themselves? People scared of being lonely, depressed because they don't have someone to share their lives with. Depressed because they don't like what they think they see in the mirror.
Self love is loving yourself, inside and out. It is to stop looking for approval into someone else's eyes. I have learned the hard way that you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself first. I did not know I had to see it through my own eyes first.
''Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.''
I used to be obsessed about how I look, about what others might think of me. I could not leave the house if I did not have makeup, good looking clothes, high heels and hair all done. I was scared to be looked down, to be laughed at. When I was younger, I could not care less about what others would think of me but I found out the hard way that it was not working this way, not for me. So I grew up thinking the only way to be accepted was to look good. I grew up thinking it was okay to be bullied because they were right, I was fat and ugly. We all grew up with a certain image of what beauty is. For me, my beauty model were my sister and my cousine. I was asking myself... why are they so pretty and not me? Why are they succeeding in their social lives and I am not?
Then, social medias came in. I personally had the chance to be part of the first ''Facebook famous'' people. I gained more than 25 000 subscribers in two months when Instagram was not even a thing yet! In a way, it helped me with my self-esteem because now, people were looking up to me. For the first time in my life, I was being told I was beautiful from other people than my family. When I think about it now, it is kind of hypocritical because if they were looking up to me, it was helping my self-esteem but lowering theirs...
Social medias exploded and more and more young and old people are getting addicted.
''It's so funny how social medias was just a fun thing, and now it's this monster that consumes so many lives.''
How many of us are guilty of looking at pictures and comparing ourselves to them? I am and I don't believe you if you say you never did. Before, we would only compare ourselves to actors and movies or celebrities in magazines. Now, everyone can become famous and everyone can post whatever pics they want online for everyone to see.
Even if comparing ourselves consciously or unconsciously is a big part of the problem, it is not everything. We constantly feel the pressure of looking good, looking slim or looking muscular for some. We feel the pressure to be loved, for girls to not be sleeping around, not be dressed too sexy but sexy enough to get attention, for boys to be manly and not show emotions because it is not a man thing.
But what if. What if you say fuck this shit and decide to be who you want, where you want, dress like the hell you want or even don't dress at all?
What if you take the time to look at yourself, inside and out, and decide to love every aspect of it? If you don't like one, what stops you from working on it? What stops you from being a better version of yourself? Because life isn't about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself. No one is perfect, but everyone can accept who they are and keep working on improving themselves. Freedom will come with it, happiness will come with it.
''It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others.''
Self-love also means to respect yourself. It is to say no when you don't want something, it is to cut off toxic people in your life. It is to do what you want, when you want, alone or with who you want. It means to respect yourself and not wait for someone else to respect you, because if they don't, they are not good for you. Respect is everything, so start by respecting yourself and others. Don't be mean to anyone, don't disrespect anyone. The freedom of one ends where the other's begin.
For once in my life, I have truly understood what it means. I am working on being comfortable with who I am, on improving myself everyday and being a better version of myself. I want and have to love myself before loving anyone else.
The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.
It is never too late to be what you might have been.